Divorce- A going of Ways


"I really want to Zap your Sorry Ass"

©LWM Sept 2004 writings

I get a lot of e-mail everyday, one of the things that seems to come up often is What do I do about this divorce??? I really hate him (her) and I want to zap their sorry ass!!! What can I say to this, probably something your not gonna like but is in your best interest for your spiritual journey.

Yet there are many of you WANT to remain spiritual and higher minded but you also have a part of you that hurts like hell. You feel ripped apart and bleeding in the very pit of yout soul. You ache and just want the hurt to stop, its like a nightmare that just goes on and on…The betrayal feels like it will never stop and the world as you know it will never be the same. You look to me for magickal answers to make it all better, something to heal the hurt…

I am sorry I have none. Of course you feel ripped apart, you are! Of course you feel betrayed…you are. Even if you are the one to do the leaving your heart which loved this person and considered to live with them forever feels betrayed that such a thing isn't going to happen now. Of course you are sick of mind (headaches and such) Body (when was the last time you could keep something down, and when was the last time your eyes weren't circled in red) and Spirit (you cry out for balance yet none is there, you seek the Lady and Lord but are scattered and the focus is gone.) You ARE falling apart and the World as you KNEW it is over…Things will never be that way again…

But and I give you this in hope and love, Life will continue. Things will change in your world (often for the better) and you will find balance again IF you learn to accept this change and not become bitter and vindictive. Your actions should come from a place of love and kindness, no matter how much you wish to strike back at the hurt you are feeling. This action lifts you from the Karmic cycle you could impose upon yourself in a locked karmic bond with this person. A bond in the most negative sense of the word that would only draw your essences from you and leave you cold and alone (not what you want in a search for the higher self.) Even if you caught this person (who you felt was your soul mate) in the arms of 6 other people, cheating and lying and stealing from you, you must reach deeply within and your actions must be those of loving release of the relationship.

Now that’s not to say you cant be Mad (as you have a right to your feeling) but being angry does not give you a right to be cruel. And Zapping the Sorry Turd is really out of the question right now, your to emotionally invested in this to make a sound decision. You must remember you can not return pain with pain, you as a searcher of the lighted path must think as the Higher Self would, keeping yourself safe and not adding to the already painful cycle that is going on. (aint that a bitch, ahh one of the hazards of enlightenment ha ha)

So this means no petty stealing of items they liked just for the sake of causing pain, or ruining them at work just for revenge or physical violence just to get back at them. You are a child of the Lady and Lord and can rise above this…angry though you may be, such actions as mentioned above just locks you into a karmic cycle with them and if you don’t get it figured out in this life you will be doing it again in the next until you get it right.

Believe me you don’t want to go through this again, so why do something that links you again and again just for a few seconds of revenge. There are other ways to ask for help with this situation from the Bright Lady and we will talk if them later.

First we must get you in a clear and focused mindset, one that helps you cope with all that is going on about you and lifts you up. You must remember that the person you are hating right now you once loved, and still do. Wait before you shake you head and hear me out. The person that you loved still lurks within this stranger that hurt you and that’s the person you love, once you give love to someone realize that it cant be taken back. You cant unlove someone, you will always love them BUT you can be involved with this person and not love who they have developed into, not love the actions they have chosen and know in your heart you cant live with this …You can realize this isn't healthy or safe for you and isn't going to work and know (no matter how painful it maybe ) that its time to move on. So you still love the person they were and always will but cant stand they person they have become and know that you must move on if you are to survive in any sense of the word. Carve this in your heart and when things start to overwhelm you with pain and hurt pull it out and think on it. Realize that this is best for all around and ACT for what is best for both of you don’t REACT to a painful situation that is lead by current hurt, anger and regret. Secondly realize that there must be pain in this dissolving of a pairing of souls. You are both going through a going of ways. When you married you may have expected forever, souls melded together in perfect harmony. You expected to go thorough life as one force together,now the reality of the situation is the separation of two souls from a united one force the dissolving of two separate forces. In essence Divorce=Diss Force, ripping apart of anything is painful to those involved. The ripping apart of two people connected in mind, body and soul levels are painful and such pain must be acknowledged and understood to be accepted and worked through.

Things you can do and not make a negative Karmic Bond

What you can do and still remain spiritually within your Higher Self and ask for Retribution

If you have a patron God or Goddess you may call out to them for help or a boon. In your circle or sacred place with candles and incense and what makes you feel safe and within the presence of the Lady or Lord lay it all out for them. Everything about your situation, all that pain, the humiliation, the things you ignored or the things you may have done or were done to you. Everything, leave nothing out (this will be emotional and exhausting, so have tissues ready. It hurts to go through it all but it is cleansing)

Then ask your Patron Goddess or God for their help with this in your healing. If you wish retribution still on this person invoke the 3 fold law (simply ask that it be placed upon so and so for these acts done to you) on them that they get back that which they did. Then let it go… Allow the Goddess or God to decide when the time is right , and believe me their justice is always on the mark and always much better than you could have ever thought of. Even if it feels like years (and in some cases it maybe) when the sword falls it is cutting and quick and they are hardly ever left standing.

The Lady and Lord know what retribution is best and when it is best delivered and your Karma is kept clean. Now if you don’t have a patron God or Goddess I suggest Hecate (but you must also be very honest in your part of the problem as well, for She gives justice to everyone involved.) You may wish to go to a crossroads and leave bread in all four points of the intersection for Her as She enjoys a gift as well. She is a dark Crone Goddess and Queen of the Witches. If you are a woman wronged you may wish to call on Diana as She will hunt the offender down and deliver justice as She sees fit. If you are a man that is wronged I suggest Eros, as he can be just and swift in such things as well, or maybe Set as He is a Dark Sage God and listens to conflicts and aids in resolutions with a swift sword also. (Please note any gender can call on any God or Goddess I just suggest these as I know they work best with the genders mentioned)

An everyday Ritual to keep you armed and ready to face the day

First off find some oil like Sandalwood or Frankincense or *Goddess Rising or *Gods Fire (which are all available at Silver h Hoofs Inc the * are exclusive items, just e mail us and ask for them)

Each morning in the mirror as you get ready to meet the day Take out your vial of oil and place a dab on each hand and on the top of your head and under your chin and over your heart. As you do this on each place say the following (or something close to it)

"With this sacred oil I call to my Higher Self to act for me when I an hurting, sad or frightened May my hands do only positive works today. No matter how much I want to strike out and hurt them. May my mind keep me lifted up and out of the muck and mire of this situation. May my decisions be just and fair and it be in everyone's best interest. May my mouth speak only for my best interest and for the best interest of those involved. May my heart not break as I evolve to my next level of being and may it heal from the pain I now feel. May my feet know when it is best to move me, so that I may be aware for my safety and not add to the negativity of a situation by staying in an angry ugly place for to long."


Now you may need to do this everyday for a year or even more after that, I know people who have children with ex's that still (after 10 years or so) use this ritual when they have to talk with the ex. It is a good thing to use before court or when having to see the ex or even in everyday life. It helps you remember where you want to be and your hurting emotions don’t rule your actions. You rule your life here, you ACT for what you want and dont REACT to what is being done. You maintain the power and you are in control of your life…That is a powerful thing and sounds much easier than it really is. Also if you need to you can take your oil with you and "refresh" yourself during the day if you need to.


I also suggest you do two other things, 1. Cleanse your chakras and align them often as you are in a negative situation and need to keep them open and cleansed to keep a clear spiritual connection. This also remove any "psychic vampirisms" that may be leaching your energy as well as your astral/etheric body. 2. Spend much time in the presence of the Lady and Lord (or your Astral Safe Place if you don’t feel ready to see Them) in meditation during this time, as it wears on the spirit and soul. In Their presence you will see the greater whole and not be so bitter and hurtful, it is now that you need their unconditional love for many times self esteem suffers at divorce. That constant thinking of being a failure and what if …what if I had cooked better, or made more money or so on and so on. Dear Ones none of this would have made a difference, simply this is yet another lesson and you must take from it all the positive messages you can, you must act within your higher self and see your true character. You must forgive yourself for your human failings and the anger you feel that over powers you or the things you may have done as well as those that were done to you.

The past is done there is nothing we can do about that to change it, do not live there, do not put energy there. The present is now and it is where we live and what we can do something about. Spend time and energy here so that you can ready yourself for a wonderful future. Look forward to what is to come in your Life. Build that future, put out positive energies so you may establish a positive future and send out love so that love may find you in return,.

Do not spend time in anger, recriminations, rage and revenge…it twists your soul and does you no good in the here and now. It gives you a brittle foundation for the future that chips away and leaves you sad, alone and hurting forever.

No as hard as it may be and as much as a part of you wishes to hurt back the one who is hurting you or leaving you, do not give in. Rise above it all, look to the future (even if it feels as If there is not one without them) BUILD one, Make it as you want it to be. Create your life, space and spiritual connection, after all we are Magickal Creatures created in the image of God and Goddess and we can do anything we want, if we only focus concentrate and say with a pure intent and a loving heart,


I hope this helps you and answers you questions

If not e-mail me and I will help as I can

Oh And No Zapping, got that :-) .


Forever In The Loving Service Of Others,

Walk with Honor,

Lady Wolfen Mists

[Index] [Next] [Previous] [E-Mail]"